This is my first post this month that doesn’t feature some kind of rainbow awesomeness. While I’ve been living it up in rainbow all month, I also understand that Pride isn’t about rainbows. It’s about acceptance and love and visibility. It’s about freedom, and so many other things apart from what it’s been commercialized as. It’s a celebration… but it used to be difficult for me. Back before I was “out” to my family, and even shortly after, it was hard to love myself for who I was. It was hard because I spent so many years being taught to think a certain way, that by the time I began to open up about who I was, I worried about it being “wrong” somehow. I went through a similar self-loathing phase when I began to explore the kink community. I thought something must be wrong with me. My mother was a domestic violence survivor, so what was I doing?
Years of work on self-acceptance and self-love, a new outlook, and a new friend circle have brought me to a different place today with that stuff than I was when I was younger, but I know that a lot of people still struggle. There’s a point when you’re going through all of this when you begin to feel like your life is not your own. People will judge you, try to pressure you to think or act a certain way, try to make you feel bad for being who you are… and that’s some shit. And it’s damaging. And it can make that journey all the more difficult. It’s a devastating realization.
But here’s the thing: There are things you can control, and things you can’t… and the hardest lesson of all is learning to accept that you can’t control everything, and work on bettering what you can. You can’t control other peoples’ opinions or their perceptions of you. Not everyone is capable of change. Not everyone will see things the way you do, or even be able to put on your sunglasses – even for just a second – and see the world through your lenses. Some people just aren’t made to do that. And… there’s not a lot you can do about it.
What you can do, however, is focus on you. You can control who you let into your life. You can control who you allow to influence you. You can control what you do. And every single day is a chance to wake up and do more, or do something differently than you did before. Every day is a new chance for change, for self-love, and acceptance. For new friends and new loves and new experiences. Every day is a chance for you to be someone that you are proud of. To shine your light on others. To let the most wonderful parts of yourself out of the box you’ve been keeping them in and share them with the world. Every day is a chance to celebrate what makes you… you.
Credit:
[Shape]mine
[Head][LeLUTKA]Avalon
[Body][The Shops]Legacy Mesh Body Special Edition (1.3)
[Skin][Eudora Beauty for Happy Weekend]Amber (Medium)
[Hair][Tram]J0616 (Hud C)
[Brows][A R T E @ UniK Event]Rebel Eyebrow
[Eyes][POUT!]Heartbreaker Tears (1,2,3)
[Lips][Top1 Salon @ Equal10]Satin Lips
[Top][Vinyl]Saucy Top (soft blue)
[Tattoo][Endless Pain Tattoos @ Vintage Fair]Bailey
[Dresser][Dust Bunny & Con]Florence Bedroom Dresser
[Frame][floorplan]Dreamer print
[Pouf][floorplan]velvet pouffe (dazzle)
[Backdrop][Foxcity]Nap corner (V1)
[Pose][BlackBoxStudio]Counting the minutes 2
I Promise I Know What I'm Doing 