Last week, I ran a workshop about disability and kink at my home community. I initially did it because admittedly, I was a little salty about some comments that had been made in regards to my health and my ability to theoretically do things. The idea that real life comes first, but I should be mindful of my real life affecting others. So anyway, I had this whole moment where I was not-too-happy about the way the conversation went, and thus this workshop was born… though not simply for that reason.
The thing is, communication is so important… but it can be hard. And the truth bomb here is that it’s even harder when you’ve got something going on with your health. It doesn’t matter why. Either you’re so used to dealing with it that it doesn’t affect you like it used to, you’ve simply numbed yourself to it, or you’re scared or worried that being honest about it will worry someone else… or will place you in that “let’s make assumptions about what this person is capable of doing because they shared this with me” category.
And that sucks. All of those scenarios suck. And just as I mentioned when I gave my little workshop, it’s easier said than done. I still struggle with the idea of being honest in this regard. Not in any other regard. Never ask me for an opinion if you want the honest truth, because if your ass does look fat in those jeans, I am going to let you know. But when it comes to things about my health, it’s still a constant struggle of whether or not it’s safe to share, or whether I should just internalize everything and deal with it on my own… because that’s what I’m used to doing. It’s a constant struggle, and the only way to break that cycle is to take the plunge and simply be honest and try to ignore that little voice in my head that tells me that other people have their own stuff going on, or other people have it worse, or I’ll be worrying them, or it’s not as bad as it might seem to them, or maybe it is but they don’t need to know that, or, or, or…
See, one thing I’ve learned is that the people who love me and really care about me and my well-being will react entirely differently when I’m honest about my health than those who don’t. There’s no judgment or reproach or pity. Just understanding. But every time I find myself in a new situation, I find myself battling the same inner demons. It’s hard to simply accept things as they are. Our bodies are not as perfect as our avatars, with their unblemished skin and functioning limbs and sometimes gravity-defying flexibility. And you know what? That’s okay. And I think accepting that is the first step to being able to really open up to others around you.
[[Body][The Shops]Legacy Mesh Body Special Edition (1.3)
[Brows][Gloom.]Lexi Perfect Brow
[Lips][Beaumore for Happy Weekend]Poppy (pack 1)
[Face][Izzie’s]I’m not feeling very well
[Hair][Doux @ Uber]Cece
[Top][Gaia for Pride at Home]Kiki Crop (Pride – White)
[Shorts][evani]Mircella vintage shorts (grey sky)
[Tattoo][LollyBOM]Rainbow feather – leg
[Shoes][Reign]Rina boots and socks
[Pose][Luanes World]I promised
[Location][It All Starts With a Smile]
[Tune][Grace VanderWaal – Moonlight]