I would be lying if I said the last couple days I wasn’t some big huge ball of anxiety and stress and just… general blah-ness. But I think, if I’m honest, one of the things that helped me keep it together the most was that the people closest to me knew what was going on. They checked in with me. They asked me how mom was doing, how I was doing, what I’d heard, if anything, about how the procedure was going to go… but they also thought to help me take my mind away from things. They got me talking about the weather, about projects I was working on, about things that made me smile. They made me laugh.
And you know what? I felt a little better.
Back in 2010, I was going through what I thought was a rough patch, and I was diagnosed with depression. Who doesn’t have some kind of depression or depressing ~element in their lives nowadays, right? Well, I remember my dad calling me once right after that, and he said something that will always stick with me… because it made me realize that I couldn’t trust him with the hard stuff. He said: “Did they give you medicine? Because if they did, you should flush it down the toilet. I can’t believe you. You have nothing to be depressed about. Your life is great. You just need to smile more.”
And the thing about that – the part that hurt so deeply – was that I’d been smiling for years. For all the wrong reasons. Because I thought I was supposed to, or because people told me to, or because I didn’t want them to think I wasn’t feeling myself. I smiled for years and I was bottling everything else up wrong and blaming myself for everything from bad decisions to external factors in my life over which I had no control, and the truth is, it wasn’t helping.
But one thing I have learned over the years is that when you have the right people in your life, when you find yourself with the right support system, smiling can be a form of medicine in its own right. Smiling for the right reasons can make you feel so much better. You don’t have to have everything together all the time. Hell, I have grandparents who are still trying to figure out this whole ‘being a responsible adult’ thing. Sometimes, my idea of being a responsible adult includes staying in my pajamas all day and watching movies I’ve seen a hundred times and doing absolutely nothing of actual value to society. Sometimes, it’s having a good giggle at a well-timed gif in the middle of a silly IM session with friends. The point? If you’re having a good day, let yourself smile. If you’re having a bad one, find the right reason to smile. You are allowed to have bad days without having to pretend otherwise. Tying everything together with a smile doesn’t really work if you’re trying the fake-it-til-you-make-it approach.
[Body][The Shops]Legacy Mesh Body Special Edition (1.3)
[Brows][Gloom.]Lexi Perfect Brow
[Lips][Velour @ Uber]Urias (Pack 1)
[Eyes][Izzie’s]Evening Glitter Eyeshadow (6)
[Hair][Tram @ Uber]K0415 (hud C)
[Dress][UNA @ Dubai Event]Gloria Dress
[Pose][Hazeel Poses]Sunflowered **edited w. Animare