It’s been a rough week. I don’t really know how to say that without word-vomiting about everything that seems to be going on all at once and the fact that I don’t seem to have enough hours in the day to account for it all. I find myself so looking forward to the weekends now, when I can let go of all of that – even if just for a moment – and simply enjoy the company of the people who matter most.
When I was younger, my gran used to tell me not to let things that bother me take up space in my mind for too long. “Write it down,” she’d say. “Then it’s out of the way and not taking up space inside your head, and you can lock it away and deal with it later… when you’re ready.” She got me one of those blank books from the dollar store and encouraged me to write things – happy things, sad things, anything that I thought was a distraction I needed to ‘put away’ – and then I’d move on. My upset at realizing that children at school were just as cruel as adults could be, for instance. The first time my heart was broken. The first time I realized that I wasn’t invincible. The first time I was in love – really in love. The first time I realized that even people who seem invincible can’t live forever.
I try to keep up with this – at least in some measure – as an adult. But the its that I need to get out of my system have only grown bigger and more complicated as I’ve grown up. They’ve piled on top of another, some even symptoms of other ones, and I find more often than not that I have trouble even putting them into words. And that…
Well, that’s a whole new level of frustration, because that’s what I do. I write. So… writing things should be easy, yes?
Except it’s not. Sometimes, getting your thoughts down, plucking them out of your head can seem like an insurmountable task. Sometimes, you just need help. Sometimes, you just need someone else to tell you that it’s okay that you don’t have it all together and that the its are piling up and that you can’t get them out of your head as fast as they come in. Sometimes, you need someone else to take the pen for a little while, chuck it out the nearest window, and give you a hug.
And that’s okay. Sometimes, getting it all out doesn’t mean locking it all away on a piece of paper. Sometimes, it means you talk about it, you let it out into the universe, you hope for the best, and you take a deep breath and lean on those who matter most. Either way, as long as you’re not letting those thoughts take up space in your mind that other things could occupy, you’ve won.
[Body][The Shops]Legacy Mesh Body Special Edition (1.3)
[Hair][Tram @ Collabor88]K0129 (Hud C)
[Lips][Suicidal Unborn @ Anthem]90s Glam Lipstick
[Top][Vinyl]Custard Top (Blue Tartan FLF retexture)
[Pose][Posa di Gata]In My Head Lay
[Tune][Elton John – Your Song]