What is it with people? Have so many really forgotten kindness, and courtesy, and empathy? I’ve spent the last several years in both worlds with my mom going, “I don’t know why you don’t date more,” and people in SL at times literally patting me on the head and openly talking about how sad it is for me that I’m single. Last night, while chatting with some very special friends of mine who aren’t those kinds of people – thank the gods – I vented a little bit. I vented because I don’t seem to understand how some people can be this way, and yet somehow in the same breath worry about me and what I’m doing. I just don’t get it.
And that brings me to today, where someone I’ve been trying to get to know decided that he was “disappointed” I hadn’t reached out more and then decided to literally delete me from his friends list before giving me time to explain, or to even figure out if I knew him well enough at this juncture to owe him any kind of explanation. Now, I’m not the type to trash people on my blog so you’ll never see names and I’m not going to talk about this one person, because for me, this seems to be an alarming trend with people I’ve met in SL lately. Either they’re alts of people I thought I knew and trusted who cared so little for that they’d hide behind another name to toy with my head, or they’re people like this, who somehow think that my speaking to them or showing any interest at all equates to wanting to strip off my cute af pixel outfit and do whatever they say; that I owe them some sort of loyalty or obedience because they’re giving me the time of day.
Full stop right here, and let’s rewind that tape. I don’t know about y’all, but even playing it in reverse, it’s just no good. And that’s what I don’t understand. I’ve heard people tell me I’m being too picky, had people hop in my IMs, etc… but no one seems to get it. First off, I may get lonely, but I will never be so lonely as to compromise my own standards. I’ve been down that track before, and the train wreck it results in simply isn’t worth it. In either world. And secondly, I think it’s super important to stop before you speak, before you judge someone else’s situation, and ask yourself some very important questions. Why are they in this situation? Do you know anything about it? If you don’t know the answers to those things, then you need to press those lips closed and have some patience or some empathy.
I’m healing more and more every day. I talk about things in this blog sometimes simply because I need to let them out, and as y’all have probably noticed, my life has been a little hectic lately. But you know what? That’s okay. That’s okay because I’m working through it, and I’m dealing, and I’m healing. I’m healing from toxic friendships and toxic family members, from broken trust… and that takes time. I’ve got new friends, some truly wonderful and supportive people in my life, and I’m learning to open up more… but this is a process. And it’s not something to feel any shame over, or any guilt, or any regret… and I think a lot of people need to remember that and practice a helluva lot more kindness and a lot less judgment when they interact with others.
People ask why I’ve been by myself so long and why I’m so “picky” and why I do the things that I do – and this is why. Because I don’t want anymore people like that in my life. Because I’ve had my fill of that already. Because one day, someone is going to come along and I am going to see stars. And until then? I’m okay. I’m doing what I do and I’m becoming a better version of myself every single day. Nothing at all to be “disappointed” about.
Credits:
[Shape]mine
[Head][LeLUTKA]Nova v 2.5
[Body][Maitreya]Lara 5.2
[Skin][[ session ]]Astrid (tone 2)
[Hair][.moon]Lithium (Blondes)
[Top][fashionably dead]Deep V Sweater (Blushed)
[Pants][fashionably dead]Boyfriend Jeans
[Pose][Del May Poses]Frustration (wall pose)
[Location][Walsh County]
[Tune][Mandy Moore – Only Hope]
I Promise I Know What I'm Doing 