Blogging · ROMP: Elegant Kink · short leash · SL Survival Guide

122. How to… recognize the difference between talking and saying something.

So, there I was, innocently minding my own business, when…

No. I think by this point any of y’all who give this blog a read probably know better than to think that any story I’m going to tell starts off like that. So, instead of beating around the proverbial bush, why don’t we get straight to the elephant in the room. Yesterday, I managed to get myself into a Facebook feud in RL because a “non-profit” I used to work with that was supposed to help survivors, victims, and families of domestic violence went through a bit of drama. My mother and I both used to work with this non-profit, and we both picked up our toys and decided to start playing in another sandbox a few years ago when we realized that a few things didn’t add up. This “non-profit” has international reach and rakes in money every single day that is supposed to go towards its programs – retreats, fundraisers, etc for victims and families of domestic violence. But a few years ago, we realized that while money was coming in, we had no idea where it was actually going. Volunteers were expected to raise a certain amount of money every year to be considered volunteers, victims, their families, and survivors were still paying quite a bit of money to be involved in these programs, and money for the other major programs was sourced directly from volunteer pockets. So where did all our donations go? In any case, when we realized something was fishy, we decided to cut ties.

And then there was yesterday. See, apparently, a couple of days ago, the board of directors for this non-profit ousted its creator and her entire family from the organization. While they were professional about it and did not spill any metaphorical tea, there are of course going to be people on both sides of the argument that ensued. I for one stand with the board of directors, because I’m very curious how a woman with no job who founded this non-profit could afford a half-million dollar home after a destination wedding with her new husband – whom she tells everyone is a reformed abuser – and how she’s affording to wear furs and live the high life when neither of them work. I never saw any receipts or any accounting information for any of the donations we brought in while I was working with her organization, so to me, I assume the money has to have gone somewhere, and the whole thing is a little suspect. There are others who are thinking the same thing I am.

Then, there are those in the other camp, who think that the creator of this organization walks on water and “how dare the board of directors “bite the hand that feeds them.” And… this is where I got myself into trouble yesterday. Because see, when you run a non-profit, you have to have a board of directors set up – but you can’t pay them. They, like others within your organization, are volunteers. And legally, they have every right to remove the organization’s creator – especially if that person’s actions are seen as a detriment to the overall mission and operation of the non-profit. So, of course people on her side of this very interesting fence were slinging insults and curse words, being crass and just generally making themselves look like rude, ill-educated human beings. And I watched it for a while, sat back and sipped my tea, and then posted the laws relating to non-profits, and the subsection information about rights for BoD members in the state, with a blurb about the lengths to which they have to go to do such a thing and the basis under which such a thing can be done. Y’all, so far I’ve had to block nine people who have no shit hunted me down on Facebook to tell me things like:

  1. “Go f*** yourself.”
  2. “So what if that’s the law. ___ is beautiful and amazing and they shouldn’t have kicked her out.”
  3. “You’re just a bitch and you have no idea what it’s like for someone like ____.”

And you know what I said? Nothing. I said nothing. I hit the block button. Because at that point, I had said all that I intended to say, and all that I thought needed to be said at the time. There was no reason to continue engaging any of these people… especially when it was obvious that they weren’t going to default to logic or reason, and nothing I was going to say would change their minds.

So, why did I share this story with you?

Because this is just as much – if not more so – a rampant problem in Second Life as it is in the real world. People have opinions about everything. And a lot of them like to talk until they are blue in the face, especially when someone else’s opinion differs from their own. And… I just don’t get it. There is a huge difference between talking and actually saying something meaningful, and as I watch the world get more and more ugly, I have to wonder how many people’s mamas never sat them down and had that talk with them when they were kids. In real life, when you’re talking face to face with someone, it’s a little harder sometimes to mind the words that come out of your mouth. Sometimes, you just say things before you can think them through. It happens. But on a virtual platform, we are given even more opportunity to think before we speak. We are typing. We have a backspace button. We have the ability to take our time, to read over the things we’re going to send before we send them, and yet so many people don’t, and I don’t understand why.

Is the propensity to be right really that strong? Is it more important to hear yourself rather than to take the few extra steps to make sure that you are heard? These are two different things, and I don’t think a lot of people realize that. Do you want your words to count, or do you want to rack up a word count?

People in my community sometimes harp at me because I’m quiet. Those who know me will tell you I’m not. I’m listening. I’m taking in what people say. I’m watching how they act with others. I’m drinking in my surroundings. I speak when I have something to say, and only after I’ve thought about how I want to say it… because talking is great, but I want to make sure that I’m saying something meaningful – something people will actually hear when I speak – rather than simply adding to the noise around me. If I’m not, what’s the point?

Credits:

[Shape]mine
[Head][LeLUTKA]Nova
[Body][Signature]Alice v. 2.1
[Skin][[ session ]]Astrid (tone 2)
[Hair][Magika]Midnight
[Lips][Izzie’s]Lipgloss (LeLutka Evo. HD)
[Eyes][Gloom. @ ROMP]Dreamy Collection
[Gag][Envy @ ROMP]Dalia Gag
[Sign][Short Leash @ We<3RP]Public Disgrace Sign
[Panties][Glitzz]Rya (blush)

[Pose][Glamour Poses]Sexy Kneel Reach

[Tune][Neon Trees – Everybody Talks]

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