First off – 100 posts, guys. It may actually be 101… I THINK there’s one in there that I didn’t number, but in any case… yay!
Now that I have the celebratory happy dance out of the way…
Sometimes, we just have bad days. What’s worse about them is that sometimes they are just bad, and there’s no real reason behind it. This happens in real life, and any of you who have tried to do anything short of stand somewhere when Second Life has a moment knows that it happens there, too. So what do you do?
The truth is, when you’re down in the thick of your own personal bog of eternal stench, it’s hard to focus on anything else sometimes. What’s worse is that when you feel that way – and I know this from personal experience – it can be hard to take advice like this. Or any advice, really. At all.
But here’s the thing: the day only has 24 hours in it. You’re going to spend a chunk of that sleeping, whether you’ve had a bad day or not. So all you need to do is make it. You take the bad stuff, and you chuck it in the f*ck it bucket, and you take a deep breath – or several – and you let yourself have that bad day. Cry if you need to. Wallow in it, eat things that are bad for you, watch a sappy movie. And then go to bed. Go to bed, but before you do, remind yourself that you survived the day, and that tomorrow starts an entirely different day with new things and new challenges and new possibilities.
I must say I can’t take credit for this advice, guys. My life seems to be a hilarious series of unfortunate events lately, and I’ll admit, I had a really bad day the other day. The depression monster reared its ugly head, and I had no clue why at first, and I was trying to just deal with it and work myself to death and pretend nothing was wrong, and that… Well, it didn’t help. So I was talking to my friend, and she told me to live in that moment. It happened to be a moment that sucked, but you know what? She was right. I accepted that moment, and I lived in it, and I let myself have a good cry, and I watched ridiculous movies and lounged in bed with my dog, and… I felt better. Doing all of that didn’t negate the fact that I had a bad day, but it helped me get to the next one.
And you know what? Sometimes that’s the bright side. Sometimes, making it to the next day is the bright side, and sometimes the only thing you can do is pat yourself on the back. Being a person is hard sometimes. You’re not obligated to do anything in a certain way. You don’t need to compare yourself to people you think have things together better than you. My little brother and I had this exact conversation recently.
A little back-story? My brother is five years younger than me, and a Purple Heart recipient. He’s not even thirty, and he’s retired from the marine corps because he was injured in Afghanistan. And his time over there, his injuries… they changed him. He’s not the same little brother I’ve always known growing up. He struggles a lot. He has PTSD. He’s going through a divorce from a woman I’d really like to whack a few times with a baseball bat. He’s dealing with some Grade-A 100% bullshit in his life. I went down for a visit, and we were sitting outside at his place, watching our dogs chase a squirrel around the courtyard, and he said:
“Sis, I don’t know why I bother with anything. I feel like I’m not doing anything right. Everyone has it together and I feel like I can’t handle the simplest things sometimes.”
And I hugged him. My brother and I share a few things. In fact, some of our health issues mirror each other – except that he sustained his from a war zone, so I guess we’ve had a few conversations like this one.
So, I hugged him, and I laughed, and his eyes widened.
I said, “Dude, literally no one we know has anything together at all. They’re just really good at pretending. Brother makes a lot of money, but his life is chaos, his house looks like a string of tornadoes passed through it, and I’m pretty sure the only time he gets alone time is when he’s on the toilet. Mom’s a mess, dad’s a mess and in denial about it, I’ve been literally stuck at mom’s house, and you… You’re doing what you can, and you’re doing what you need to do for yourself, and you’ve got a roof over your head and food on your table. Life has kicked you in the balls so much, but you keep kicking right back, and that is just freakin’ awesome. There’s no one passing out any manual I’m aware of that says there’s a cut-off date for deciding what to do with your life, or falling in love, or starting over and trying something new. Nothing. Anywhere. Because we all just do our own thing until everything sorts it out.”
He told me I sounded like his shrink, we had a good laugh… but see, he had that same misconception that so many of us have. That we have to have it together and we have to keep it together and that the bad stuff that has happened to us in our lives somehow defines us. And that’s just not right. It’s just not. What defines us is how we react to the bad stuff and the good stuff, how we move forward. That’s the bright side. And even if that means we’re patting ourselves on the back for something as simple as getting out of bed in the morning and taking a shower, that’s just fine.
Because life (and Second Life) is a douche sometimes, and sometimes, that’s all we can do.
[Head][LeLUTKA]Simone v. 3.4
[Skin][The Skinnery]Paris (Toffee)
[Lips][Izzie’s]Matte Love Lipstick
[Hair][Tram]I1126b hair (Hud C)
[Top][ChicModa @ Fameshed]Sky Top
[Skirt][ChicModa @ Fameshed]Haisley Skirt
[Pose][Foxcity]from Beach Bunny set *edited slightly w/ Animare