I feel like I’ve dropped the ball lately. Like my head would fall off and roll away if it wasn’t attached to my shoulders. I can sit here and try to make excuses about it all day long… but that’s time consuming, and excuses don’t really get us anywhere, do they? But there’s a second option: Owning it. Doing something about it. Taking that feeling, and taking a deep breath, and confronting it head on.
It’s easier said than done. Owning up to our mistakes is hard. It means admitting that we don’t have all the answers. That we were wrong. For some people, I think this is near impossible. And that’s how we end up getting hurt. We make mistakes. We trust the wrong people, we let someone down… We let ourselves down. And then the hurt comes, and it builds. It gets heavier and heavier. It threatens to crush us, and we don’t know what to do. How are we supposed to deal with this monster? How do we pick up the pieces? How do we fix it?
There’s a few things I’ve learned, both in the real world and in Second Life.
- You can’t fix people. You just can’t. It’s not your job, and even if you’re the bleeding-heart type as I am, it’s not going to help. There’s nothing you can do for someone who either can’t admit or doesn’t realize that they are a ticking time bomb. The truth of the matter is when someone else is imploding, there’s nothing you can do but take a step back and hope you’re out of the blast zone. They have to want to fix themselves. Wanting it for them is nice, but you’re going to end up getting hurt/
- Absolutely no one is perfect. No one. In the history of time. In any version of any parallel universe that may or may not exist. Ever.
- The best possible thing that you can do for yourself is take care of you. Surround yourself with positive people. Make the changes that you need to make for you. If people have let you down, if you feel like you’ve let yourself down, own it. If someone has broken your heart, take the time you need to put it back together and cherish that experience. Good or bad, you learned something from it, so take that lesson, and do what you need to do for yourself.
I know… I know.
I think I give advice a lot better than I follow it sometimes… but that’s why I share these things. Because I’m learning. Because I’ve been there a time or two and had to figure it out the hard way. I’m learning to slow down. To do things for me because I need to. To take my time and breathe a little. I’m learning that it’s okay to have flaws, and it’s okay to need help, and it’s okay to lean on people… especially when you’re surrounded by the good ones.
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