Blogging · SL Survival Guide

71. How to… move past THAT person.

Plot twist: The thing about people who steal a piece of your heart is that you never really get that piece back. It doesn’t matter where you met them, or how; that part is pretty irrelevant in the grand scheme of things, especially in today’s society. I’m not saying you won’t heal, because you will. But everyone heals in their own time, and in their own way…and there’s nothing wrong with that. Sometimes I see people in SL who manage to find their soul mate three times a week, and I know there are people who frown on that, but… the more I think about it, the harder it is to judge. I don’t know those people. I don’t know how they cope. I don’t know if maybe that new person is the one who carried them through the heartache, or lent a shoulder for them to cry on. I don’t know those things… but what I do know is that regardless of how you cope or how quickly you rebound from your loss, that little piece of you for that other person – it’s not coming back. At least not in the same capacity you had it before.

I’ve had two of these types of people come into my life. I’m pretty sure I’ve talked about both of them before. One of them – she could have told me the sky was green, and I would have looked up at the sky and accepted it as fact simply because she said it. The other… Well, he was there to help me pick up the pieces some time later, when I was still grieving that loss of a part of myself after my relationship with her took a one-way ticket to Nightmare Land, and I was terrified to trust again, and worried every time I met someone that I wouldn’t be good enough because that had been so ingrained into my head at that point that I had forgotten who I was before I met her.

And you know what? As much as I admit I would still have to fight the urge to flee if she were to come into my safe space today and somehow infiltrate my life again, as much as I look back on that time and cringe and what I let happen, I am still grateful that I went through that experience. I lost a part of myself… but I gained other things, and a new perspective. I met new people that I wouldn’t have met otherwise. And I met him. And I’m grateful to him, too, because he reminded me of who I was. He helped put the pieces back together again and reminded me that it was possible to be happy. I will always be grateful for both of those things, even though neither of those relationships exist anymore, and one, I’d much rather forget.

Whether you’re dealing with real-life heartbreak or the struggle of watching their avatar log on and off and still trying to figure out what you did wrong, it doesn’t matter. Take a step back and take a deep breath. You gave a piece of yourself to that person that you aren’t going to get back, but instead of letting the bitterness get to you, try and remember that even with the worst experiences, you came out of it a better person. You learned something about yourself, and something about the world, and that is something you can share with the next person who comes along. Shed your tears, because that’s normal, but always remember that no matter how much it hurts, there’s going to be someone at some point who comes along and loves you in spite of it all, or perhaps because of it all.

And that makes everything else worth it, doesn’t it?

Credits:

[Shape][Divine Transformations]Nova Shape **custom**
[Head][LeLUTKA]Simone v. 3.4
[Body][Belleza]Freya 5.0
[Skin][The Skinnery]Paris (Toffee)
[Lips][Izzie’s]Matte Love Lipstick
[Hair][Stealthic]Allure (blondes)
[Top][(fashionably dead)]Summer shirt – gray decal
[Shorts][(fashionably dead)]Lace high-waisted shorts – denim

[Pose][Reve Obscura]Song bento pose w/mesh guitar

[Backdrop][BellePoses @ Backdrop City]What fox say?

[Tune][Taylor Swift – Teardrops on My Guitar]

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