I bet some of y’all were expecting some serious pigtails in this post, but that’s not quite where I’m going with this one. I’ve been having a bit of trouble in RL and SL lately just like… not being myself. I am always myself regardless of what other people think about that, but just… accepting certain things, I guess? I had a seizure last week and I’ve been dealing with some other things and sometimes, when I’m feeling down, I find myself wondering if I’m ever going to be able to do the things I want to do with my life. I’ve got the experience and the drive, but it’s hard to get people to give you a chance when you can’t drive. It’s difficult to have that conversation like, “here’s my years of experience and please don’t shoot my dream down because I have to use public transit.”
I can’t tell you how often in the last couple weeks that has happened to me, or how many people have looked at me as a disabled woman who also can’t drive and have decided not to take the chance. They look and they automatically assume I’ll be unreliable. I gave up one dream because there were several members of my family who pointed out that someone who had the issues I had would never be able to “make it.” I shelved that long ago and started focusing on a new dream, and here I sit with years of experience, a degree, and a freaking fabulous recommendation letter, and I’m getting nowhere. And then I start to think, “well, shit. No wonder this is so damn impossible. No one wants to deal with this shit. I don’t even want to deal with this shit, and it’s part of my life every single day.”
And that’s usually when I have to take a few days because that’s when I know I’m letting it get the best of me, and did you know stress can be a seizure trigger? So I have to step away and take some deep breaths because if I let that get to me I’m going to have other problems and I just don’t have the spoons for that. But that’s the thing: You can’t let it get to you. If you want something, you can’t let the road bumps get in the way. This isn’t Oz where we can simply click our heels together, make a wish, and get what we want. The road is bumpy and probably full of potholes, and you may get a flat tire or two along the way, but you can’t let that stop you.
I really needed to remind myself of that today, so I thought maybe some of you would need reminding, too.
[Shape][Divine Transformations]Nova Shape **custom**
[Head][LeLUTKA]Simone v. 3.4
[Lips][Izzie’s]Matte Love Lipstick
[Skin][The Skinnery]Paris (Toffee)
[Top][Vinyl]Apple Nippy Top (cream)
[Jeans][Vinyl @ N21]Petty Jeans
[Pose][Luane’s World Poses]The Photographer