Blogging · short leash · SL Survival Guide · vinyl apparel · Zibska

27. How to… get back up again.

Earlier today, a friend and I were talking about the different meanings lyrics can have and how it’s funny to think about some things in those kind of terms. Well, more or less. We were also fangirling a bit about finally getting to watch the first episode of season 5 of Outlander, but I digress.

Anyway, for the last couple days, I’ve been thinking about my #favoritesongever. I love this song. There’s nothing that will make me not love this song. It shall never be de-throned. I actually plan on getting a tattoo of the lyrics at some point.

But then I realized I would of course only tattoo my favorite lyrics. Furthermore, I realized that apart from the super catchy melody and the fact that those lyrics exist, I hadn’t actually sat down in a while and really thought about the rest of the lyrics in quite some time. So I did that today, whilst waiting for Outlander time and snapping photos in Second Life, and I came to a conclusion.

#bestsongever is still bad-ass. It’s still my song.

I think this is one of the most personal photos I’ve taken in a while. And yeah, I know it’s my avatar, and yeah, she’s fabulous and she doesn’t really need those forearm crutches on the floor because I can control her with arrows and letters on my keyboard, but there are little pieces of Nova that point back to me in real life. Nova’s tattoo is on her left leg. Y’all have probably noticed I’m a creature of habit with it. It’s rare that tattoo ever comes off at all. Nova’s tattoo on her left leg is me making something pretty out of something not-so-pretty in real life. See, all hemispheres of my body after affected by my CP, but my left side is the worst, and my left leg is a true piece of work.

Last night, I fell asleep watching Forensic Files. Apparently, I curled up in the night. No big deal, yeah? Except that I bent my knee, and straightening it out this morning so that I could get up and move was so painful that I nearly vomited. Then I got up too fast after having straightened traitor!leg and fell. That leg will likely be the reason I end up in a chair one day and I have come to terms with that. But until then, I have a trusty pair of forearm crutches like the ones you see in the photo there that I use on days when my legs stage a mutiny or I know I’ll be doing a lot of walking. Mine aren’t that pretty salmon color, but they’re right here, within eye-shot and reach at all times.

And I hate them so much. And I hate falling. And it’s so damn hard to get back up sometimes that I’ll just sit there because I know that the getting up is going to hurt just as much as the going down did… but I also know that I have to do it. I have to get back up, because I can’t just let myself fall and be okay with hitting rock bottom, whatever that is. I can’t just be okay with sitting there on the floor because that’s not where I’m supposed to be. I’m meant for so much more than that.

So I deal with it. I take a deep breath and I cuss a little bit and I start the process of getting myself back up. And sometimes I can’t do it on the first try, and that’s fine. But I stick to it, and even if I’m pissed off and totally exhausted by the time I’m standing again, that’s alright, because I’m standing again and I didn’t let that fall define me. I didn’t let it beat me.

Oh! Nova’s eyes are the same color as mine, too. That’s another thing.

I guess I lost the ball on this one, didn’t I?

You know what, though? This day may have started off pretty bad, but I definitely got back up. Not only that, but I spent my evening laughing and cheering and having a nice time. So, I win.

Credits:

[Shape][Divine Transformations]Nova Shape **custom**
[Head][LeLUTKA]Simone v. 3.4
[Body][Belleza]Freya 5.0
[Hair][Tram]I1126b hair (Hud C)
[Skin][The Skinnery]Paris (Toffee)
[Lips][Izzie’s]Matte Love Lipstick
[Blush][Zibska @ Dubai Event]Natsumi Blush
[Eyeshadow][Zibska @ Dubai Event]Tiana Eyemakeup
[Underwear][Vinyl]Camilla panties *group gift*
[Top][Vinyl @ Equal10]Rupture Hoodie

[Bed][ionic]Messy bed
[Rug][malone.]Jade rug
[Posters][Fourth Wall]Band posters (country)
[Dog Bowl/Ball][Short Leash]Good puppy toys
[Dog Bed][Short Leash]Busy Pup AFK bed (**May ’19 Group Gift)
[Jeans][Steffy’s Special Things]laundry-pants-crumpled-lying[…]
[Crutches][soscho’s products]Gips und Kruecken / Cast and Crutch

[Tune][Howie Day – Collide]

One thought on “27. How to… get back up again.

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